To Botox, or Not to Botox?
…that is the question.
At least, that is the question a lot of boomers are now asking themselves.
Nowadays, there are more options than ever available to those who aren’t ready to ‘age gracefully’: plastic surgery can correct droopy eyelids, bumpy noses, thin lips, deep creases, bulging waistlines, sagging faces, and a whole host of other perceived aesthetic flaws.
According to an article in the South Dakota-based newspaper Argus Leader, “The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery says the number of cosmetic surgeries has increased more than 200 percent since 1997.”
Plastic surgery is becoming more common for two reasons, in my opinion. First, it’s more acceptable today than it was a decade ago. Second, it has become more affordable as well — both in terms of lower prices and in terms of credit and loan programs that have been introduced to make payment easier for those who can’t afford the lump sum.
Boomers can expect to live longer than any of the generations that came before them. They’re also much more focused on being healthy and youthful-looking than any preceding generation. These two factors combined — plus the increased availability, acceptability and affordability of cosmetic procedures — might mean that Botox and facelifts will soon be the norm for the newly retired.
We Need Answers…It’s High Time We Get Them
We need answers. Who can we turn to? We have a world of technology at our fingertips and yet there are still things we agonize over, with an anxiety that seems overwhelming in our society.
In the Bible, God tells us in Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things you do not know.”
Call to Him? He will answer? Show me things? Great and mighty things I do not know?
It is high time we admit we have no one else to turn to, and call to Him, the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The Almighty Living God.
It is high time we cry and in our anger and in our human frustration we honestly go before Him and repent of our sin, of our attempts to go our own way, our failures in doing it on our own.
It is high time we admit that we need a guide, not just happy thoughts to get us through our day. It is one thing for someone to tell you the way, another for one to go with you, to guide you, to show you the way. He has promised to show us the way.
It is hight time we stop settling for the empty life, and we begin living the abundant life that Jesus promises us. The work Jesus accomplished for us on the cross at Calvary was great and mighty, conquering sin and death, delivering man from sin and bondage. If you do not know of the saving blood of Jesus, seek the face of God, cry out to Him, repent of your sin, turn from your own ways and run toward the cross, toward the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, and no one comes to the Father but through Him. Find a Bible believing church, and get into His word.
It is high time we fall on our faces and seek His face and cry out to know Him and to be with Him and to be in His presence.
Book Recommendation: Tripping
An Anthology of True-Life Psychedelic Adventures
introduction by Charles Hayes
In Tripping, Charles Hayes has gathered fifty narratives about unforgettable psychedelic experiences from an international array of subjects representing all walks of life - respectable baby boomers, aging hippies, young ravers, and accomplished writers such as John Perry Barlow, Ann Waldman, and Tim Page. Specifically featured is an interview with Terence McKenna, perhaps the preeminent psychedelic spokesperson of our time.
The book is available on the FS Books Co. Website.
Sex and The Baby Boomer: Can Drug Therapy Help?
In this article Dr Michael Goodman, the perimenopause specialist, summarizes an entire chapter from his book, The Midlife Bible. The subject is sexual difficulties as women enter mid-life.
Few things in life are fun and free–sex is one of them. As Henry Miller said, “Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation…the other eight are unimportant.”
Of course, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” If your sexual desire is nonexistent and arousal a bit slow, but it’s not really an issue for you (and your partner), don’t hassle. But, if your desire is that of a banana slug on downers and you and your partner would like to be doing the cha-cha-cha: What’s going on? What can you do?
Causes
This whole issue is the topic of a complete chapter in my new book, “The Midlife Bible: A Woman’s Survival Guide”, but I will try to summarize in the next 800 or so words. The causes are “multifactorial”, as “we experts” like to say. They include upbringing (strict, staid, “religious”, etc.), social, physical, hormonal, medicinal and psychological factors. Frequently (especially with arousal and orgasmic difficulties), they include a history of verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse, many times without adequate psychotherapeutic resolution.
Relationship issues obviously play a part. A “stale” relationship, poor communication, physical or emotional disinterest, etc., does not promote sexual closeness.
Certain medical conditions (fatigue, depression, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) and the medications used to treat them can lead to desire, arousal and orgasmic difficulties. Frequently implicated here are certain antidepressant and anti-hypertensive medications. Additionally, sometimes orally administered hormones (birth control pills and hormone replacement therapy) can diminish desire.
The fatigue issues of midlife - either secondary to stress, inadequate sleep or hormonal factors - diminish sexual interest and satisfaction. And of course, if your roller-coaster estrogens are causing moodiness and hot flashes, or if stress is increasing, sexual interest wanes.
Hugely important is hormonal (translate: estrogen) “support” of the vagina. Nearing menopause when estrogen levels wane, many women’s vaginas respond by being dry and “scratchy”. Without adequate moisture, lubrication and pliability, lovemaking can become uncomfortable and distinctly unpleasurable.
But hormonally, as much as anything, it is the slow, steady decline of androgen (read: testosterone) levels at midlife that most likely produces the decline in desire and sexual ennui experienced by so many midlife women.
Sexuality issues can occur in three areas: loss of sexual desire (i.e. “low libido”), poor arousal, and difficulties in achieving or satisfaction of orgasm in previously orgasmic women (”I get to the edge, but I can’t quite jump off…”).
So…desire is down…lubrication inadequate…orgasm a bit more difficult. What can you do? Therapeutic approaches can be divided into four categories: Lifestyle and social intervention; drug therapy; devices; and extensive psychosexual therapy.
Lifestyle Interventions
For starters, there is everything to be gained and little downside to increasing self awareness, “touch therapy”, and self pleasuring.
It is never too late to learn more about yourself and be comfortable with your body. In my practice, I use a system of relaxation and self awareness (visual and touch) therapy to enable my patient to be more comfortable with her body and to discover likes and dislikes, pleasurable areas and erogenous zones. This therapy is performed in a secure, non-pressured environment and may lead to self-pleasuring. Along these lines we also work with erotica (literature, spoken word, visual fantasy and sexual “aids”) - see the related web links below.
Drugs
Hormones: If you are flash-flushing all over the place, feeling moody and not sleeping well, sex is probably the last thing on your mind, and arousal and orgasm may be more difficult. Get that part alleviated (by hormones, botanicals or psychopharmaceuticals).
Vaginal dryness is often a part of the equation. Locally applied estrogen, either via a cream, foaming vaginal insert or a self-contained, small, slow estrogen-releasing vaginal ring helps many. Oral and transdermal estrogen preparations help too, but take a couple of months before their effects are fully realized. In the meantime, lavish use of baby oil, massage oil or over-the-counter lubricants such as Astroglide®, Silky®, etc., lovingly and sensually applied by both partners to each other’s genitals works wonders.
Testosterone is a female hormone too, a fact that many healthcare practitioners forget. Testosterone levels usually decline even before estrogen dives. Adding testosterone to estrogen hormone therapy is a good general practice. It potentiates the effect of estrogen, decreasing the amount of estrogen needed and probably diminishes estrogen’s stimulatory effect on the breast.
Testosterone helps mediate sexual desire in women. Adding some testosterone (either via compounded lotion or capsule, a commercially available estrogen and testosterone preparation, or the soon-to-be-released Intrinsa® testosterone patch frequently helps with sexual desire, along with increasing energy and quality of life. I am amazed that testosterone has been underutilized for so long. It is finally getting its due.
Supposed Arousal-Enhancing Herbs and Botanicals
Several herbal compounds have been touted, among them Yohimbe®, Avlimil® (little more than the sage-like herb Salvia along with a few other botanicals in less-than-therapeutic doses) and several other over-the-counter herbal combinations. Most of the benefits from these agents are probably placebo-derived; there is no decent scientific evidence for their usage.
Drugs for Arousal and Orgasmic Problems
Sildenafil (Viagra®) is a well-known agent for men and has erected many a penis. Initial trials with women were disappointing, as Viagra does not help increase desire. It is, however, frequently helpful for women in increasing arousal and the ability to orgasm. The dose is usually 25-50 mg (sometimes as much as 75 mg). Since it is so expensive, have your physician order 100 mg and cut off what you need with a pill cutter.
There is no reason why the new erectile agent Levitra® shouldn’t also work well. It lasts about as long (five-six hours) but takes effect much faster than Viagra (15-20 minutes versus 45-60 minutes). An agent used in Europe but not yet approved in the United States (Cialis®) lasts much longer (24-36 hours).
Devices
The Eros CSD® (Clitoral Stimulation Device) is a nifty little unit (”by prescription only”) which gently attaches by suction to the clitoris. With regular usage, the gentle suction activity slowly swells your clitoris, making it more sensitive and responsive and used to stimulation.
For orgasmic and arousal issues, relationship issues, as well as desire issues not addressed by the foregoing advice, more intensive therapy, singly and with your mate, is in order. See your practitioner about referral to a sex therapist or counselor.
Signs of the Times
The other day I passed a men’s restroom in a huge convention center. I was rushing down the long, curved hallway, already late for the next session. A few steps farther, the input from my visual cortex caught up to my thought processes, and I did a U-turn. I trotted back to the men’s room to gaze at the wall beside the doorway. There was a new symbol beneath the icon for “Men”. Remember when international symbols began to appear on the highways? I complained then that I couldn’t comprehend what they meant. I refused to even try to learn how to use Apple computers because of its graphic operating system. Every time I tried to use one, my language became pretty graphic, too! Fortunately the new men’s room signage had a text label that said “Change Table” or somesuch. When I read the words, I could understand that the symbol showed a baby in a diaper. A wet one, at that.
The times, they are a-changin’!
High Time - Love not War
Romans 13: 8-11 best explains High Time
* 8. Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
* 9. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
* 10. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therfore love is the fulfilling of the law.
* 11. And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.
High Time is now and the answer is love. The solution is not as easy as it sounds because these are the characteristics of love:
1. is long-suffering (doesn’t give up and is there until the end)
2. is kind (self explanatory)
3. is not envious (this is where most fall short of love)
4. is humble and does not promote itself
5. does not behave itself in an unbecoming fashion (not, I shouldn’t have to… call, check-in etc.)
6. does not seek its own things (unselfish)
7. is not easily provoked (another stumbling block)
8. believes the best of people; it “thinketh no evil” (stop calling people evil)
(attributes taken from 1 Cor 13: 4-8, 8:1; 1 Thess. 5:22; Phil. 2:20-21; John 18:23)
It’s High Time; time to wake up because the time is nearer than we even though. The time is now and the answer is love not war.